Posted in Reflections

2: Midnight Ideas

What is it about the night hours that awakens my mind? I sing my sweet kiddos to sleep, spend some time with my husband, unwind with some video games, and reflect on all the things that need to get done, but never do.

Sometimes I contemplate the universe or all the hatred and chaos in the world.

Sometimes I read until the sun rises, escaping into worlds that I wish were my own.

I drag during the day, unable to focus or complete most tasks. It’s not depression. Maybe a little bit of laziness and a lotta bit of time reversal. I should be asleep during the day.

But that’s not how the world works.

Funny how people are like, “You’re tired during the day because you stay up all night. Just go to bed earlier.” Yea, that sounds easy to those who fit the universal mold. But what if I don’t want to go to bed earlier? What if my mind and body are designed to funtion during different times? Why do I need to change?

It’s hit and miss. I’ve tried early bed times and early risings. Still tired. And I tossed and turned for hours. I just accept my fate, chug some coffee, and sludge through the day.

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Sometimes I wish I could go to bed at 9, or 10, or even 11. But I consistently hit the sack closer to 2 or 3 in the morning. Up a few hours later to get my kids off to school, then I laze the day away.

I need motivation. I need balance. I need the energy I feel at night during the day.

Is this my new goal and attainable question of life right now? Maybe, just maybe.

“I don’t need to fit the mold. The mold needs to fit me.” ~ Owl

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